Checklist: Things We Need to Teach The Twins

1.)  Though the word is funny, actual sharting is not (unless of course someone else does it, then you can laugh your ass off) and continuing to do so can quickly send you to a sort of social Siberia.

2.)  That even though crap is a bodily function and happened to be Grandma Ruby’s favorite word, saying it at school can get you sent home.  (ditto shit tickets and closed crapper)  

3.)  That letting out a huge belch at the end of a meal is really only a compliment to their dad as the family chef, but to no one else.

4.)  That it’s really not okay to pull your pants all the way down to release your wedgie at school.

5.)  That there is such a thing as an internal laugh and that it is best used when Barkley is humping Bruiser in front of the neighbor.

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