Do As I Say, Not As I Do

I always tell, what I’m sure one day to them will be, embarrassing stuff about my kids on this blog, so I thought I would change things up tonight and tell a little funny on myself.

A couple of weeks ago I walked into the girls’ bathroom to take a little survey.  Neither I nor the cleaning lady had touched it in a while so I just wanted to see how bad it had really gotten.  It was the usual; tubes of toothpaste with the caps off, toothpaste stuck to the side of the sink, some kind of goo on the mirrors, hair ties and clips strewn everywhere, used q-tips with yellow ends lying around, etc.  Emily was actually in there staring into the mirror and concentrating on putting her hair up in a pony tail when I strode in and stood there glancing around at the mess.  My presence didn’t faze her one bit; no embarrassment over the mess or anything.

So I summoned the courage to walk further, past the door and into where the toilet and shower are.  I look in the toilet and am incensed by what I see as I peer into the toilet – a wad of yellowing paper swimming around in a sea of urine and crap.  I immediately yell at Emily since she is the only one in the room with me, “How is it that no one in this house can remember to flush the toilets?!”

Crickets.  She even turns to look at me, our eyes meet, and she turns back around to continue working on her hair.

“Yuck!”, I exclaim, as I push down on the lever and the force of the suck pulls the waste into what seems like it could be the center of the earth.  Fortunately, the previous owners installed some kind of high falootin’ toilet in that bathroom.  Of course, it is loud and sounds like it will take you down with it which may contribute to why they don’t flush that toilet.

Once the toilet water returns to a nice clear color, I realize that in fact I have to use the bathroom.  So I sit down – Emily still fixing her hair – do my business (pee, no poop), and start back out of the bathroom.

Emily says matter-of-factly, “Mom, you forgot to flush the toilet.”

 

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